


The Necessities

by bluebellsandcocklesshells



Series: 642 Prompts [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, Drunkenness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 13:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6755944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebellsandcocklesshells/pseuds/bluebellsandcocklesshells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt 14 of 642: What three essential items would you take with you (if you were exiled)?</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Necessities

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 14 of 642: What three essential items would you take with you (if you were exiled)?

“Condoms, lube, and Dean.”

Castiel burst into a fit of hysterical, drunk giggles and rolled back onto Benny’s bottom bunk.  The other buzzed and drunk people laughed and giggled in awkward amusement as they tried not to look at Dean.  Dean was staring at his best friend with his mouth hanging open like a particularly dumb species of fish.

Philosophy had seemed like such a safe topic for drunk people.  To be or not to be?  Is the world nothing but shadows on a cave wall?  Would you kill one person to save nine, or let someone else kill all ten because killing one person, even for a “good reason” was morally wrong?  Stupid stuff from Ethics 101.  And someone had brought up Napoleon.  And how he was exiled to Elba.  And then the question became where would you want to be exiled to?  And then Charlie had asked what three things would you take with you?

And _that_ had come out of Castiel’s mouth.

Dean was mortified.  For some reason, Castiel’s confession made him feel like everyone knew that meant that he had a crush on Cas.  Why else would Cas tease him like that?  Dean glanced around the room.  His three close friends and six acquaintances were still snickering with amusement.

“Oh!”  Castiel sat up suddenly.  Dean wished he was sitting close enough to him to push him back onto the bed and smother him with a pillow.  “You would need your car though, right, Dean?  So, lube, Dean, Dean’s car.  If we’re in exile we don’t need the condoms.”

He gave Dean a sloppy wink and then fell back onto the mattress giggling wildly.

“Well,” Charlie said.  “It seems like some of us have hit our ceiling.  Cas lives in Yates, right?  Anyone else in Yates or live nearby and can take him back and put him to bed?”

“I can do it,” Dean said, face still red as he got to his feet.

“Careful,” Victor said around a burping-hiccup.  “He might try to _exile_ you when you get to his room.”

Everyone burst out laughing as it was clear which word Victor had substituted “exile” for.

“I think we’ll be fine,” Dean muttered.  He slapped Castiel’s leg.  “Get up, you drunk.”

Castiel propped himself on his elbows and Dean had to think real hard about something other than the fact that Castiel was sprawled on a mattress with his legs spread on either side of Dean’s body.

“But I only had like…one drink.”

“You had four, you lightweight.  Come on.  Time for bed.”

“In bed,” Castiel sniggered, like he’d added the phrase to the end of a fortune cookie fortune.

“How sad,” Benny drawled as Dean helped Castiel get to his unsteady feet.  “Dean’s exiling, Cas.  Need any supplies?”

Dean turned in time to watch Benny toss a bottle of lube toward Cas.  It thunked lightly on his chest and fell to the floor.  Castiel rubbed his chest and looked confused.  He looked up at Dean.

“Ow.  Assbutt.”

“That’s a donkey’s rear end,” Charlie translated helpfully to the rest of the group.

Garth picked up the bottle of lube.  “Is this your lube?” he asked Benny.

“Of course.  No one likes chaffing when they whack it.”

“Oh, gross!”  Garth jerked his arms back and the lube bounced on the floor and hit Victor’s shoe.  He kicked it away with a noise of disgust and Charlie, Jo, and Bela squealed as they dodged out of the way of the spinning plastic bottle.

Dean left them to their lubed up version of hot potato and kept an arm around Castiel’s waist as they walked down the dorm hallway to the exit.  Cas was leaning on him heavily and they were getting looks from everyone they passed.  He hadn’t had enough to drink to find this funny.  He was mostly feeling a little angry.  He hadn’t known Castiel had known about his crush, but that certainly was a crappy way to deal with it.

Outside the cold February air felt good on his flushed cheeks, but Castiel shivered in his T-shirt and leaned into Dean for warmth.  Dean cursed as he realized he’d forgotten Castiel’s favorite hoodie on the bed.  He’d swing by Benny’s tomorrow after breakfast to get it.

As they made their way through the halls of Cas’ dorm, most everyone they passed laughed and congratulated Cas on finally getting smashed.  What freshman waited until the spring semester?  Dean ignored them and propped Cas up against his dorm’s door so that he could dig through Castiel’s pockets for his keys.  Hopefully they weren’t in the hoodie.  Castiel giggled and squirmed like he was being tickled.  Finally, Dean found them in the back left jeans pocket.  He leaned forward to insert the key into the lock and Castiel’s arms wrapped him his neck.  Dean froze as Castiel began nuzzling his cheek with his nose.

“Dean…want you so bad…” he sighed.

“W-what?”

The key clicked, the knob turned, and the door swung open under their combined weight.  They fell onto the floor in a heap.  Castiel grunted as he took the brunt of the impact.

“Oh, shit!  Cas, are you okay?”

He looked up with unfocused eyes.  He smiled.  “Didn’t feel a thing.”

“Geezus,” Dean muttered.  He stood up and helped Cas to his feet.

“Shh, shh!” Castiel admonished him, very loudly.  “Roommate’s sleepin’.”

“He’s not even here.”

“Yes, I am,” Kevin’s sleepy voice grumbled from under a pile of blankets on the top bunk.

“Oh, sorry.  I’m just going to put him to bed, and then I’ll leave.  Sorry.”

“What?!” Castiel practically shouted.  “You put me t’bed and then _leave_?  No, we gotta do it before you leave!”

“W-what?” Dean asked, his voice tinged with hysterical laughter.

“Oh, God,” Kevin groaned.  “I’m going to be sexiled…aren’t I?”

“No!”  Dean shouted.  “No, no.  I…Cas…what are you talking about?”

“Want you,” he said plaintively, tugging on the hem of Dean’s shirt.  “Want you t’be m’boyfriend.  And do dirty, nasty things t’me.”  Castiel giggled.  “Oh, gosh!”  he turned around and fell onto his bed in yet another fit of giggles.

Dean’s cheeks were burning with embarrassment, but also hurt.  He never would have suspected that Castiel was a mean drunk.  He reached down and pulled off his friend’s shoes.  Then he rolled him more completely onto the bed.  He pulled the covers up around him, and then pulled his arms free from Castiel’s grasping fingers.

“Stay, Dean.  Make love t’me.”

“Not tonight.  You need to sleep tonight.  I hope you don’t wet the bed.”

“That’sh not sexshy.”

“No, it’s not,” Dean agreed.  “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before getting so drunk.”

Castiel made some childish noises, turned over with exaggerated movements, and then settled onto his side.  He immediately began to let out soft snores.  Dean rolled his eyes and stood up.  He started when he saw a pair of dark eyes peering out at him from underneath the blankets on the top bunk.

“Uh, s-sorry we woke you up,” he said.

“It’s okay,” Kevin replied.  “I’m glad you brought him home.  You’re a good friend.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck.  “Yeah, well.”

“I’m also glad he finally told you how he feels.  Maybe now I won’t have to listen to him moon over you while I’m trying to study.”

The hole in the blankets closed up, completely covering Kevin.  Dean stared at the lump of blankets, barely discernible in the light from the hallway.  He poked the pile.  Kevin reveled more his face this time.  Enough for Dean to know that he was scowling.

“What?” he grumbled.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.  “What do you mean he moons over me?”

“Seriously?” Kevin asked.  “He’s been in love with you since orientation.”

The covers closed up.  Dean poked him.  The blanket snapped back.

“ _What_.”

“And by ‘in love’ with me you mean…?”

“That when he said he wants you to be his boyfriend and make love to him…he meant it.  Drunk or not.  Now go away, Dean.”

Kevin ducked back into his covers and turned over, refusing to be bothered again.  Dean turned away, feeling a little numb.  He glanced down at his friend, who was still snoring in the deep sleep of the drunk.  He walked out of the dorm, not sure where to go or what to do.

~~~

“Oh. My. God.”

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean chirped as he sat down at the cafeteria table with Cas with a tray full of greasy, strong-smelling food.

Cas groaned and leaned away.  “Geezus.  How much did I have to drink last night?” he moaned, adjusting the sunglasses on his face as they had gone askew.

“Uh, three beers and a shot of Bailey’s.”

“Is that all?”

“Yep.”

“Man.  I really am a lightweight.”

“Yes, you are, my friend.  Hey,” Dean said as casually as possible as he popped a piece of bacon into his mouth.  “How much do you remember?”

“Enough to be really, _really_ embarrassed.  I’m sorry I made Benny pull out lube.”

Dean snorted in amusement.  “I think that’s on Benny, not you.  But did you mean it?  The things you would bring with you if you were exiled?”

Cas buried his face in his arms with a loud groan.  “I’m sorry.  Really, please.  Don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.  I just want to know if you meant it.”

Dean waited patiently, and finally Cas gave the slightest nod of his head.

“Hmm.  Interesting.”

Cas made another miserable sound, which was muffled by his arms and the table.

“Do you want to know what I’d bring?”

Cas shook his head.

“Are you sure?  I wrote them down.”

Dean slid a piece of paper over toward Cas.  He continued to eat his breakfast while his friend languished in hangover hell.  Finally Cas’ eyes—sunglasses—peeked over his arms.  Dean couldn’t tell if he was looking at him, so he just kept right on eating nonchalantly.  Tentatively, Castiel’s fingers wriggled out from under his arm to snag the piece of folded paper.  He pulled it close and struggled with his incapacitated fingers for a moment to get it to flip open.

Dean watched carefully as Castiel’s other hand moved to pull his shades down onto his nose.  His eyes focused on the words again.  Then he looked over at Dean.  Dean gave him a timid smile.  Castiel stood up and grabbed Dean’s face with his hands, and then he tried to kiss him, but his smile was too big to really do it properly.  He still clutched the piece of paper in his hand with Dean’s exile list.

_Impala_  
Pie  
You


End file.
